Eleven

I looked forward to the daily walk around the prison yard or the visit from my lawyer. As for the rest of the time, I got used to it, I thought that if I had to live inside any old hut in the forest I would have got used to it. The window in my cell could bring me the sky. The blinding light or the passing clouds, just before the dawn could raise the smell of flowers opening to greet me , the rain falling down on the roof the dawning sun or the faint hum of the traffic roar from the city just at the time of my breakfast would deliver another portion.

These sounds and smells were associated with every meal I was brought, sound and smells from both inside and outside the prison. The ones I liked most came from the hooter of the passenger ships that would echo around the harbour and linger in my cell for hours. I loved that. I could have got used to anything in terms of memory, light or history. When you accept you are a prisoner things change. Knowing I was a criminal brought a whole new perspective to my life.

I looked forward to the sounds of birds or pigeons cooing on the prison   roof or the clouds drifting into one another just before the rains. I would enjoy that as much as seeing the different ties my lawyer wore each time he came to see me. Just as in another time, I had waited eagerly for Saturday and Sunday nights when I finished work, so I could press Mo’s body next to mine. That was no longer there in front of me but it did not stop me remembering the anticipation and the swollen easy times we would have together.

The ‘roaring crystals’ danced just as loud in my life and painted imaginary pictures of my time at sea like I could hear the waves rolling through the Dada’s stories. Shabela’s sea house was a single fateful diversion; a moment of chance. Our life was shared up and down the beaches out of the city and easy with dreams when I left the house of my ma and da and all the stuff messed up in my head was released into the space of the blue air of  Dada’s song ; the song of these unhappy islands. .