Dada 112

‘Do you think so,’ I asked, mainly because I had to say something.

Then he said very quickly and very loudly that of course I would be acquitted and we’d be able to go swimming and cupped his hand s around an imaginary bowl that might have been a pipe. I remembered old Srino’s gesture in the room and was going to laugh. But I suppose all it could have been was a small rice bowl with all Mo’s talk of the price of food. I noticed he looked around before he did this. He need not have bothered because the fat woman was shouting that she had left a basket of food at the clerk’s office and how dear and expensive everything was now because the warehousemen and fisherman had won their rise in wages  but what about the ordinary family? Her shouting blocked everything out. Maybe the disease was spreading.

The young man next to me and his mother were still watching each other like little birds. The murmuring of the Indonesians below us was like the sea that continued to wash our legs with their sighs. Outside the light seemed to fall intensely against the window. I felt slightly sick and was relieved when I saw a worm of a cloud appear, the rain would come soon. Inside, the noise was painful. I wanted to stay with Mo and I wanted to leave this place and I wanted to stay with him as long as I could. I was losing my sense of balance. I don’t know how much time passed; Mo told me about his life at home and never stopped smiling. He was going to shop for lamb’s kidneys after he saw me he said.

 ‘We are a very fair minded but stern country’ I remembered my father would say.

His hand would rub my back and I would feel his oiled fingers. I didn’t remember much about the first time but soon realised the real danger was later; the soft footfall on the stairs, the putting away of violence and the almost tender touch on the skin.